We used to laugh
We used to cry
We used to talk about forever you and I
And love was all we seemed to need
I still recall sometimes
The way we used to be
I recall the time when I used to believe. We used to believe. I knew in my heart that no matter what happens, whatever Life's challenges, I can face it with head held high and eyes wide open. Now I'm just an automaton, moving thru each day just to survive one more day.
When this change occurred I do not know. Maybe it just happened all of a sudden or the passing time had slowly chiseled away at my optimism and confidence over the years. Who knows? I only know that at one point in my life, I went from a confident, generally optimistic fighter to a withdrawn, blubbering mess. Oh, how fragile this ego. Was it bruised to badly that it cannot recover, or it just won't recover.
Sometimes I see my kids treading eggshells around me. They don't realise it but I can tell. I feel guilty. Its not their fault yet they have to suffer along. Sometimes I hug my baby and burst into tears. She doesn't understand, but she gives me a hug and wipes my tears with her most precious bunny. It breaks my heart. They don't deserve a mother so weak. What they do deserve is a happy home and loving parents. They deserve more than this. God help me...