4-letter Words

LOVE.  HATE.  RAGE. LIFE. 
They are all 4-letter words.  They can be innocuous or bad, depending on the use.  Just like those other 4-letter words.  And then there is HOPE.  Yes, hope.  Probably the most important one in our lives. 

This week, I learned for the first time what it was to lose hope, and what a salvation it is to gain it back.  All in a matter of few days.  A short span of time that may otherwise have sauntered by without fanfare, just like any other few days.  I learned that hope holds for us so many keys.  And I learned that when hope is taken away, all the joys we revel in, all the plans made, all the memories accumulated - everything - loses it's lustre.  And I learned that when we are given a tiny, minuscule sliver of hope, it is the most wonderful gift that can ever be found in the universe.

It is with this tiny particle of hope that I will move forward and ever onward, only looking back to catalog all that I've encountered.  It is with this smallest bit of hope that I will once again be thankful for my life, in all it's glory as well as failures.  Because hope is showing me the keys to possibilities that are once again laid out before me.

I am...

I am a woman, a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend.
I may not be beautiful but I hope that I am capable of seeing beauty and praise it when  deserved.
I may not be the smartest, but I am intelligent enough.
I am open-minded enough to accept differing opinions and varied notions.
I am soft-hearted enough to share in others' pain and rejoice in their happiness.
I am a woman, who once was a girl full of dreams and hopes.
I am a mother who revels in her children.
I am a wife who loves too much and maybe a bit too little.
I am a sister who can be there for her siblings, yet show tough love.
I am a daughter who is all grown yet acts a child.
I am a friend who will listen without judgment and give a lending hand.
I am all these. 
And I am one more.  A shameful, dark secret.
I am a statistic.